Well it was a long day of sanding things and painting them and sanding them again…or something. I took a well-earned shower and ate some well-earned raisinets. (Delicious.) And today, in the throes of physical labor, I may have been listening to “107.7 THE BONE.” Ok, yeah, yes i was. Someone else chose it, of course, but I let that happen. I agreed to it. We all have some hand in our destiny, am I right?
Now it really wasn’t all that bad…they played tons of Creedence Clearwater Revival, which is really conducive to sloppin it on there and gettin a blister. They even had this thing called “drive-by stand-up” where they would play these snippets of stand-up shows, and some it was kinda good. I am all for exlporing, or re-discovering, the possibilities radion has to offer, and I think it is a bold and original move. BUT.
Then, this song came on, by a band called “Buck Cherry.” Now, that is a band name that already makes me feel just a teeeny bit violated (not that I am one to run around finding band names that make me feel violated) but then this song came on, and the actual lyrics to the chorus go like this:
“You’re a crazy bitch/
but you fuck so good, I’m on top of it.”
Oh. Kay. Now, I am not offended because this chorus is dehumanizing and misogynist and in poor taste, not to mention bloody unoriginal. I am offended because “bitch” DOES NOT rhyme with “it.”
Just kidding, I AM offended because it is misogynist! Although, “offended” is kind of the wrong word here. I think being offended takes a little more energy than I am willing to dedicate to a band called Buck Cherry, whose band-naming skills and rhyming skills and music playing skills are sub-par in the first place.
But, you guys, I mean COME ON. It’s just lazy. Please PLEASE can we do something new? Like, let’s think of a more ORIGINAL way to demean the people we desire.
A few suggestions:
1) Some new words. “Bitch” is SOOOOO done. How about cunt-horse? Meat-pie? Poo-nah-nee BONANZA? Hmmm? Just a few thoughts to get the ball rollin for ya there…
2) Some better ways to describe the act itself. Again, “fuck” is so COLLEGE, so frat-boy, so spectacularly undescriptive. I would suggest “riding the banana train to kingdom Cum” or “Taking a sweet swoop down the ol’ Vag-tastic Slip’n’slide.” Again, just brainstorming here.
3) Write a song that is about something besides shock-value and selling records, at the expense of an entire half of the population, which is then reduced to a mere hole, just there for gratification, and, hey, it’s ok if you are WHATEVER you are, as long as it enhances my sexual experience.
Oops, sorry lads, that last one was kinda serious. I may sound like a bit of a crazy bitch. But no worries, everyone, I know how to fuck real good.
April 21, 2008 at 4:19 pm |
Hi Genie, I linked here from Rosie’s page and I’m getting a little addicted to reading your posts. I love being able to actually hear your voice and inflections as I read. I also just noticed there is a tiny happy face at the bottom of this page…it’s nice of him to hang out down there.
Since I don’t have another way of contacting you, I hope you are doing very well. Good night.
May 23, 2008 at 3:12 am |
I think cum-dumpster is another good description for a woman.
May 25, 2008 at 8:36 am |
totally. also, in writing this one i forgot “spooge-catcher” and “the Pink Meat,” both also classics. thank you for offering me the opportunity to rectify that omission.