The Laws of Attraction

Alright, people. This one is going to get a bit autobiographical, but hang in there. I am going to make it worth your while.

Back when I was but a young, pimply, angst-filled youth of about fifteen, I felt like breaking the rules was pretty much the way to go. Almost any rule, for almost any reason. One of the rules to which I responded with particular distaste was the rules of dating. Primp yourself to death and be naturally endowed with the kinds of hormones than make your tits big (not the kinds that compromise your skin tone, let’s say…or make you burst out in tears during math class.) Then, let the whole affair unfold bit by bit, as he notices you, he decides to make a move, you flirt a little bit but not too much, and then eventually, you get the privilege of allowing him to pressure you into sex, preferably in the back of a car. (Your mother’s or his, doesn’t matter.)

I thought to myself, Hey! What a waste of time and energy! Life’s too short! So I developed a crush on a boy whose identity shall be protected (except to say that his name was Ray Martinez) and promptly told him, outright, that i liked him, no bullshit. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Hey, ahh, Ray…could I talk to you for a minute?

Ray: (takes a swig from his bottle of Mountain Dew) uh, sure..

Me: I just wanted to let you know that I think you’re pretty cool, and anyway I am attracted to you and..yeah, I guess that’s it.

Ray: uh.

Me: Ok, well, seeya later!

Ray: (silence.)

Now, I have no desire to blame Ray for the fact that a romance did not blossom from that exchange. I have since gone to the opposite extreme in my thinking, telling my (equally vocal, though perhaps not as forward) friends, ” The most attractive thing you can show a man is your back, as you walk away. Nothing is a more powerful aphrodisiac than rejection. Treat ‘em like shit. They LOVE it.” This method, let’s call it the “Mean” Method (as opposed to the above “Open Method”) developed from the repeated experience that the ones I like never like me, and vice versa. I realized: it is not because I am only worthy of people to whom I am not attracted, but because everyone (not just men, now) is wired to want what they can’t have. This is one of the most trusted pop-psychology principles, but it is also simple economics.

So where does this leave us? Do we merely settle for those we don’t really like, because we know they like us? OR…Do We Play Games.

You may have guessed from my punctuation that I am leaning towards the second one. But Playing Games is NOT the same as “mind-fucking.” Mind-fucking is sadistically toying with someone because of the pleasure you gain from watching them writhe in desire. Games, on the other hand, are actually kind of fun. Games allow you to gain a better understanding of who the person is, and they allow you to develop a rapport, maybe even…a relationship? Games are a gentle way to build something, and to give it the time and space it needs to grow on its own. I would be the first to admit that it is a bit safer than just sticking your neck out there, or your cock out there or whatever but maybe that’s ok. Cause anyway, nothing worth having comes too easily (or quickly. heh. double-entendre that one all you want, baby.)